Blog
Parents AND Professionals? When are we too close to see the problem?
- October 1, 2024
- Posted by: AP-Admin
- Category: blog
I’m a parent myself, we all are in the team. We have talked a LOT about our children over the years as they have grown up, from the days when my child was biting others in Nursery (humiliating), to successful and unsuccessful potty training (frustrating), to managing their quest for answers (challenging). As a professional I am methodical, logical and knowledgeable. As a parent, I’m just doing my best. I’ve tried to switch hats and to see my children through my professional lenses but I just can’t separate the two. I know too much, I interpret too much, and I envision too much to ever be able to take that step back to see the bigger picture.
Do you ever find it easier to solve your friends’ problems than your own? “But surely you just need to….”. Sometimes we can see what others can’t. Distance creates perspective. Sometimes.
Confession time. I’ve tried out language assessments on my children over the years. Under the guise of I’m just practising, I’m really checking out their vocabulary level – is it on track? Or their comprehension – are they understanding what others are saying to them? But these assessments are standardised, which means they have to be delivered in a very specific way with no clues given – even subtle eye points! And I KNOW they know the answer to this one. Come on! You KNOW this!! Immediately not standardised! So assessments FOR SURE I can say need to be carried out by someone other than the parent.
Once you know something about your child, as a parent we then ask “what can I do to help?”. We look for the solution or mediation to the problem – we always want to make their lives better and easier. This is where the boundaries are less clear. Making a plan about what to do next is less about whether it’s parent OR professional and sometimes about making those boundaries messy. We need to work together to identify what are the key problems and where are the key solutions.
So, does distance create perspective? Sometimes! As a professional I can offer clarity and with a lot of experience over the years I have a range of ideas in my toolkit to try. As a parent I can offer insight into my own children and a unique perspective built from knowing and caring for them since the very beginning. As a parent though, sometimes I can’t see the wood for the trees. As a professional I daily pop on my glasses, and look through a different lens. Just don’t ask me to do that for my own children.