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Autism and Selective Mutism: Tips to help navigate the Christmas Holidays
- December 9, 2024
- Posted by: Louise Scrivener
- Category: blog
Autism and Selective Mutism: Tips to help navigate the Christmas Holidays
It is known as the most wonderful time of the year, but for autistic individuals the Christmas holidays can also bring feelings of anxiety and discomfort. The social aspect of the festivities can be particularly challenging for those with a co-occurring diagnosis of autism and selective mutism. This anxiety-based condition can make it difficult for individuals to speak in certain social settings (like school, public places, or family gatherings), even though they are fully capable of talking in other environments where they feel safe, like at home with family or close friends. Anxiety can come from large gatherings/parties, changes in routines and expectations to “perform” in holiday activities (such as a nativity, exchanging gifts or carolling). However, proactive planning can dampen anxiety and create a more supportive atmosphere for all the family to enjoy Christmas.
Here are some tips for keeping the holidays as stress free as possible….
- Manage your own expectations: Christmas is all about spending time with important people in your life. So try to let go of the traditional image of Christmas and appreciate all the unique and wonderful experiences you share with your family and friends. Your holiday season might look different than others and that’s okay.
* A reminder to caregivers: Be kind to yourself and allow time for you to take part in your favourite Christmas festivities.
- Be patient and understanding: It may be tempting to push someone to speak or to coax them into participating, but this can increase their anxiety. Provide the space and time they need to feel comfortable to talk to unfamiliar people or when in large groups.
- Maintain routine: Where possible, try to keep the individual’s routine consistent to reduce stress. Talk about changes to their typical routine in advance and use visual supports such as calendars. Talk about who will be at gatherings, what activities will happen and common questions people are likely to ask.
- Educate family and friends: Talking to friends and family about your child’s diagnosis in advance can help gatherings go smoother. Explain specifically how to interact with your child to make everyone feel comfortable in the situation. For example, ask others to allow your child time to warm up before initiating conversation, avoid asking questions and set up 1:1 interactions.
- Limit social expectations: Remember…they do not need to be involved in every planned Christmas event. Prioritise together what is really important to the individual and your family. Allow your child to observe and participate in non-verbal ways, such as sitting quietly with family members, without forcing verbal interactions.
- Set realistic expectations: Talking about holiday events and planning goals together will help lessen anxiety and set reasonable goals to foster self-esteem.
- Use alternative forms of communication: If speaking is difficult, provide alternative ways to communicate. For example, you could use written notes, drawings, or even gestures to interact.
- Plan some activities: During gatherings, initiate non-verbal games or activities (e.g., drawing, holiday crafts, baking) that allow your child to get involved with the group without feeling pressured to speak. Bring some of their favourite activities/sensory tools to events to create low pressure communication opportunities.
- Plan involvement in gatherings: Brainstorm jobs that your child is comfortable with such as serving snacks, helping cook/bake, making a music playlist or taking people’s coats. A sense of purpose will make them feel like they’re part of the special day. Thank them for their contribution and praise any specific instances of brave talking while they were carrying out their job.
- Set up a quiet space: If you are hosting, set up a calm space for your child to withdraw to if they are feeling overwhelmed. Talk to your family and friends about creating this kind of space when you visit. Just knowing that they have this option can be reassuring. You could even plan a secret signal so they can discretely let you know what they need.
- Offer sensory breaks: A quiet calm space can also provide a reprieve from all the lights, sounds and smells of Christmas. Minimise sensory input by reducing noise, bright lights, or overwhelming visual stimuli. Provide comforting items such as soft cushions, weighted blankets, and sensory fidgets.
Lastly, everyone needs to embrace the Christmas spirit by offering a supportive and non-judgemental environment for neurodivergent individuals. Offer the gift of kindness and acceptance, so that Christmas can be an enjoyable experience for all!